How to Make Pizza

First, you gotta have some water. All good things start with it ya know.

Oh yeah, don't forget to set the oven to 425 ya dumbarse.

Then ya mix the dough up. Scientists still haven't figured out how to make this step foolproof, so don't fuck it up.

Damn those coils sure do get hot in there, don't they?

OK, Grease up the pan like... never mind, just grease it up and put that dough on there.

Then, slather the sauce on. That's the red stuff there.

Now, add the cheese and other shit you want on it. I fucked up and ran out of pepperoni.

Remember these coils? OK, now here's where you are going to use them. Pop that bastard in there and cook it, cook it, cook it! yeah! huh-huh.

OK, if you didn't fuck up, this is what you should have right now. No, don't touch it! that shit ain't done yet.

This is what it looks like when done. Don't be a dumb-arse. Go get an oven mitt so you don't burn your wittle finners.

Heh, better twist that knob counter-clockwise a bit until it reads "OFF" and the little light goes out.

Don't be a bachelor pig! Clean that fuckin' mess up like a good little boy.

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